Conference Seasonal Affected Disorder

Another year, another conference season done and dusted. This year was more gruelling than previous ones since the advent of the Con-Dem coalition meant that I had to endure two days in Liverpool at the Lib Dem Conference as well as two in Manchester with the comrades before the final round in Birmingham with Dave and the boys. On the positive front it was good to stay in big cities that can cope with thousands of conference goers without collapsing – the hotels are clean, they aren’t a rip off and you can get a decent meal. Anyone who has experienced a Blackpool or Bournemouth conference will understand just how important these things are.

But what of the conferences themselves? Well, a couple of observations. The first sartorial: a quick look around each of the conference halls revealed that Lib Dem delegates still favour the comedy tie and the novelty waistcoat, at Labour there were a plentiful supply of anoraks in anoraks and the ICC in Birmingham has distinguished by the large numbers of woman who wearing clothes run up from curtain material and men in chalk stripe, double-breasted suits. Oh, dear, oh dear (or Doe a dear for the Tory ladies).

On a more serious note, it was depressing just how few ethnic minority delegates attended the Lib Dem conference. Yes there were a few black faces in the crowd but once you eliminated consultants like me, others on commercial passes and journalists, I reckon you would have had just a handful of party delegates who weren’t white. The fact that the Conservatives have done better at recruiting ethnic minority activists should be a source of great shame to the party, hang your head Nick Clegg. Not that we should be getting too excited about the number of black people at the ICC, it was nothing like representative of the population but at least it felt that the party recognises it needs to take active steps to make it more so.

As for the atmosphere, there was a good deal of excitement and congratulation at the Lib Dem conference but it also felt like few, including minister or two, had grasped the reality that they were in government and were now responsible for things. The Labour conference felt flat and out of sorts. At first people were working out what the election of Miliband, E would mean for the party and when they worked out that it would mean the departure of Miliband, D a grey cloud descended over Manchester. I went to Birmingham expecting much celebrating – after all the party is back in power after 13 long years. And yes, people were delighted to be back in, to have beaten Labour. But they were also a bit subdued and that was before the child benefit debacle which got so many of their backs up.

Disappointing Dave

So Dave is within a hair’s breadth of getting the keys to Number 10. He stands on the brink of being the first Conservative Prime Minister of the 21^st Century, Labour’s share of the vote has declined and Cleggstacy has failed to materialise. The boy’s done well – or has he? Far be it from me to be churlish or partisan but I can't help but wonder if his achievement is that great. Last year, I was huddled in various darkened rooms (ok pubs) with people from both Labour and Conservative who are paid to know about this sort of thing speculating about how many seats above 100 the Tories would get and how many terms (two or three) Labour would be out. My Labour chums were practically suicidal (though they wouldn't admit it now) and the Tories were trying desperately hard not to seem smug. Dave was the golden boy, Gordon Brown was a disaster and Clegg was a no mark. There was no way he could lose. And now? Ok he hasn't really lost but he hasn't really won either. So, you have to ask, has Dave thrown it away? I wouldn't like to say, but if I were a Tory donor I might be forgiven for wondering if I had got value for my money.

Ho hung

So after what seems like an aeon of campaigning (it was really only three weeks) the people have spoken. The only problem is no-one can quite work out what they have said. With almost all the results in, the only thing that is clear is that no party has an overall majority. So now we have a hung parliament and the leaders of the three parties have spent the morning resisting the temptation to play party politics and instead have put the national interest first. They have had varying degrees of success.

Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg, was to the first to set out his stall. A disappointed Clegg, who far from taking second place actually saw his party lose seats, reiterated his view that the Conservative Party had the right to form a government having won the most seats and the largest share of the popular vote while at the same time reminding Mr Cameron that constitutional reform (for which read proportional representation) was the price he would need to pay for Lib Dem support.

An hour or so later Gordon Brown read a statement in front of Number 10 which sought to reassure the country, especially the markets, that in spite of appearances the country is not in chaos. He is still the prime minister and key decisions will still be taken, so Alistair Darling will represent the UK in talks with other G7 Finance Ministers about the deteriorating situation in Greece and the euro zone. He then went on to say that he understood and respected Clegg’s position and invited Clegg and Cameron to make use of the mechanisms and facilities already in place to give them any civil service support that they might need. That said, he also indicated that he was willing to see any of the party leaders and that should the discussions between Cameron and Clegg come to nothing, and he reminded Clegg and the Liberal Democrats that he was more likely to deliver on the kind of constitutional reform they sought.

Finally, we heard from David Cameron. He too began with a very prime ministerial air. He held the hand of friendship and compromise out to Clegg reminding him of their shared views on a whole range of issues including the National Insurance rise, climate change and pupil premiums. But inevitably there was a ‘but’, on the subject of constitutional reform he was less open handed offering only "all party committee of inquiry on political and electoral reform".

This leaves Clegg with a real problem – does he go with Cameron and effectively sacrifice a core belief of his party or does he prop up Brown? I think the technical term is snookered.

Nick and Dave are speaking to each other this evening. No doubt there will be conversations throughout the weekend. If we are lucky we will know who won yesterday’s election on Monday. Sounds ridiculous? Think about the poor people of Belgium who frequently have to endure (or is that enjoy?) weeks if not months without a formal government in place.

X Factor - no thanks

I am not going to write about the debate other than to say that if I worked for Clegg I would sew up his trouser pockets - the Man at C&A look was a bit unattractive from my perspective. No, today's rant is about Gary Barlow. What have I got against the mild-mannered pianist from Take That? Well, today Gary has joined the Conservative election trail to launch "School Stars" which Tory spin doctors described as "an X-Factor style competition to encourage young people to get involved in music". I have written in the past about about the dangers of using celebrities to front campaigns, but I don't think that is the problem with this. What I am upset about is the thinking that what our children need is to be encouraged to become pop stars. Don't we want, don't we need our children to aspire to more than being celebrities? Don't we want them to want to become civil engineers, plumbers, teachers or pharmacists? The idea that we should be reinforcing a Hello-style view that success equals fame regardless of your abilities makes me want to scream. Yes, I want children to enjoy music, to enjoy sport but we also need to make sure they understand that there is more to life than celebrity and that wanting to be a hairdresser, physicist, carpenter or web designer are worthy ambitions.