X Factor - no thanks

I am not going to write about the debate other than to say that if I worked for Clegg I would sew up his trouser pockets - the Man at C&A look was a bit unattractive from my perspective. No, today's rant is about Gary Barlow. What have I got against the mild-mannered pianist from Take That? Well, today Gary has joined the Conservative election trail to launch "School Stars" which Tory spin doctors described as "an X-Factor style competition to encourage young people to get involved in music". I have written in the past about about the dangers of using celebrities to front campaigns, but I don't think that is the problem with this. What I am upset about is the thinking that what our children need is to be encouraged to become pop stars. Don't we want, don't we need our children to aspire to more than being celebrities? Don't we want them to want to become civil engineers, plumbers, teachers or pharmacists? The idea that we should be reinforcing a Hello-style view that success equals fame regardless of your abilities makes me want to scream. Yes, I want children to enjoy music, to enjoy sport but we also need to make sure they understand that there is more to life than celebrity and that wanting to be a hairdresser, physicist, carpenter or web designer are worthy ambitions.

Political porn - no, thanks

Ok, I am coming clean - I did watch Gordon's interview with Piers Morgan, well about 30 minutes of it. It was like watching political pornography. I felt dirty, sullied and guilty - indeed I still do. Yes, I completely understand why GB decided to do it and I am sure that Downing Street will have been delighted with the result - real people got a glimpse of the real Gordon and all is well. Except it is not, for me at least. I hate the Hello-isation of politics, too much focus on personality and celebrity, not enough on policy. And Gordon is not alone, this morning David Cameron featured on the front page of a free magazine distributed at London underground stations. The interview within is all about getting to know David Cameron the man, so we learn that he shops at M&S and Gap, favours Paul Smith for his suits, loves TV (Larkrise to Candleford and Silent Witness in particular) and darts. Where is the policy? It distresses me no end that politicians are wooing voters with their personal lives. I can't be the only one who wants to know what they are going do to about health, education and the energy gap. Ironically in his interview this morning when asked if there is something politics could learned from Simon Cowell, Cameron said "Politics isn't show business and shouldn't try to be". Exactly.

Respecting the dead

And so Harry Patch was lied to rest almost 100 years after so many of his comrades. The last Tommy, he survived a terrible war and spent much of his life after his days in the trenches speaking out for peace, calling for disputes to be resolved through reconciliation. It is important that we remember him and the sacrifices made by the Lost Generation and by the men and women who have died in subsequent conflicts across the world. But I don't believe I can be the only person who was disturbed by the number of people who turned out to watch his funeral. I have real doubts that the people who crowded outside Wells Cathedral did so out of respect or in remembrance of fallen heroes. I have a terrible suspicion that they, or at least many of them, were funeral tourists. It is a phenomenon which I have been observing for some time. The first obvious incidence was the funeral of Princess Diana, but more recently we saw it at the death of Jade Goody. And in the last few weeks, this mawkish behaviour has been infecting the streets of Wootten Bassett where the simple gesture of respect to service personnel killed abroad made by locals has been tarnished by tourists who come to gawp at the corteges. I know I shouldn't be surprised, I am disturbed by it and wish, like so many things, it would stop. Let's respect the dead, not send picture messages from outside funeral.

The Purdy Connection

"Why," a friend has just asked, "is it ok for Joanna Lumley to front the Gurkha campaign?" I presume he asked because he has so often heard me rant about the ridiculousness of celebrity-led campaigning. Reports of Sharon Stone declaring that she would kiss anyone to bring peace to the Middle East or Mia Farrow going on hunger strike for the people of Darfur throw me into a rage. But Lumley works for a number of reasons. First, she has a real link to the cause for which she fights (her father served with the Gurkhas). Second she is no "pop in if poss" campaigner, she has been working on this campaign for years. Third, she connects. That is what campaign communications is all about. She connects with her audience - politicians, judges and generals who are going to make the decisions as well as the public. To the likes of Gordon Brown, the members of the Home Affairs Select Committee and indeed male readers of the Daily Telegraph, she will always be Purdy, gorgeous, sexy Purdy who was always on the right side. (Perhaps a clue as to why GB met her alone.). But that doesn't put off women, we like her because she took the mickey out of herself, her glamour and her beauty in Ab Fab. Fourth, she is clever and canny. Her doorstep after the meeting with Steed, I mean Brown, was pure genius - "I trust him . . . I know he will do what is right".

In the midst of all these unpalatable revealations about moat cleaning, trouser presses and flipping, maybe those calling for her to be PM aren't so mad.