Thursday 7 March 2013

Knowing when it is safe to take the shot

There is a clip circulating of our very own Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, trying to skip. Now this is not a post about Gorgeous George's fiscal competence and I am not going to make any cheap cracks about jump starting the economy. No, this is a post about how to avoid looking like an idiot at an event where there are cameras.  There is only one thing you need to do and it is really simple: you need to make sure you have a press officer with you who knows my five top tips for avoiding having you look like an idiot. 

So my top tips for press officers are:  
  • What is in the background? Will there be a plant coming out of your boss's head? A swastika? A man dressed as a monkey or any kind of animal? Have you checked all the angles? Anything to make your guy look like an idiot? If there is anything, anything at all, don't let him/her stand in front of it. Make him/her take a different route, put some people in front it, do whatever you can to avoid the shot.
  • Don't let him/her do any sport or physical activity at all if they are rubbish at it. Even if they really are really good (not just good in their own head), don't let them do it in a suit. The only person who gets away with it is Barack Obama shooting hoops and that is because he really is very good at basketball, doesn't play with his jacket on and is super cool.
  • Make sure that your guy is absolutely clear that he/she must never accept an invitation to do engage in any kind of activity or hold any piece of equipment which you haven't arranged.
  • Don't let him/her wear ridiculous headgear. Hard hats are ok, but enter food preparation areas at your own peril.  If there is some kind of religious or cultural requirement to wear specialist head covering and/or remove shoes, think about the rest of their outfit - do you need to ditch the Savile Row for something with a more local flavour?  
  • Be very careful when it comes to eating/drinking in public. It is best to avoid it, unless of course it is a visit to a pub or restaurant. In a pub, if you guy is an actual guy he should have a pint in a straight glass, you have more leeway if your guy is a gal. But no champagne for either gender. In an eating establishment, the shot is your guy eating a forkful, that's all that needs to be consumed.  
In the end it is all about maintaining dignity, the dignity of your guy, his/her office, his/her organisation and about maintaining your reputation -  you don't want to be known as the person who allowed the Chancellor to look like an idiot. 

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