Knowing when it is safe to take the shot

There is a clip circulating of our very own Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, trying to skip. Now this is not a post about Gorgeous George's fiscal competence and I am not going to make any cheap cracks about jump starting the economy. No, this is a post about how to avoid looking like an idiot at an event where there are cameras.  There is only one thing you need to do and it is really simple: you need to make sure you have a press officer with you who knows my five top tips for avoiding having you look like an idiot. 

So my top tips for press officers are:  

• What is in the background? Will there be a plant coming out of your boss's head? A swastika? A man dressed as a monkey or any kind of animal? Have you checked all the angles? Anything to make your guy look like an idiot? If there is anything, anything at all, don't let him/her stand in front of it. Make him/her take a different route, put some people in front it, do whatever you can to avoid the shot.
• Don't let him/her do any sport or physical activity at all if they are rubbish at it. Even if they really are really good (not just good in their own head), don't let them do it in a suit. The only person who gets away with it is Barack Obama shooting hoops and that is because he really is very good at basketball, doesn't play with his jacket on and is super cool.
• Make sure that your guy is absolutely clear that he/she must never accept an invitation to do engage in any kind of activity or hold any piece of equipment which you haven't arranged.
• Don't let him/her wear ridiculous headgear. Hard hats are ok, but enter food preparation areas at your own peril.  If there is some kind of religious or cultural requirement to wear specialist head covering and/or remove shoes, think about the rest of their outfit - do you need to ditch the Savile Row for something with a more local flavour?  
• Be very careful when it comes to eating/drinking in public. It is best to avoid it, unless of course it is a visit to a pub or restaurant. In a pub, if you guy is an actual guy he should have a pint in a straight glass, you have more leeway if your guy is a gal. But no champagne for either gender. In an eating establishment, the shot is your guy eating a forkful, that's all that needs to be consumed.  

In the end it is all about maintaining dignity, the dignity of your guy, his/her office, his/her organisation and about maintaining your reputation -  you don't want to be known as the person who allowed the Chancellor to look like an idiot. 

Cameron's personal photographer - it was all in vain

For those sitting in Downing Street yesterday there were a number of reasons to cheer the announcement of the Royal Engagement, with “gosh aren’t we delighted for the happy couple?” being just one. The blanket coverage (which quickly descended into ridiculousness with the rolling news programmes grabbing anyone vaguely posh looking or who be within six degrees of Wills and Kate to hear their views on the glad tidings) meant that the settlement of cases brought against the British government by Guantanamo detainees was barely mentioned. Also scarcely warranting remark was the news that Cameron has decided that the hiring of a personal photographer and a film maker on the public purse might be sending the wrong message during this time of austerity. Yes, less than a month after news of these two appointments first came out, the Prime Minister has had a change of heart. Why he even thought it was a good idea in the first place, goodness only knows. He is not the President of the United States or Katie Price, we do not need or indeed want every moment of his day however intimate to be captured for posterity. And we certainly don’t need for it to be paid for by taxpayers’ money. Thankfully, Dave has seen the error of his ways but one has to ask why on earth didn’t someone on his coms team stop the appointments in the first place?

Its all in the presentation

Far be it of me to add my voice to the chorus criticising the politics of Gordon Brown but can I just say that he is in desperate need of a proper communications advice. As he walked into No 10 Gordon effectively denounced the previous occupant (and my old boss) for his focus on presentation and declared the days of spin were over (a piece of spin if ever I saw one). He was wrong. Wrong to criticise Blair for understanding the power of the media and the importance of trying to use the media to get your message over effectively. Wrong to pretend he wasn't going to try to do the same. Alas over the last few weeks we have seen how badly he and his inner circle are doing on the presentation front. YouTube in itself is not a bad idea, but not necessarily as a channel to raise the issue of MPs expenses and why didn't anyone look at the tape before it was uploaded? I have nothing to add on the Swastika debacle other than to say I don't recall seeing any photos of a smiling TB with Nazi symbols coming out of the side of his head. As for the lovely Ms Lumley - why on earth was no one else in the room when they met? And why didn't they agree what line she could take when she stood in front of the cameras? Madness.